


Knockin' on Heaven's Door

by 50shadesofsubtext



Series: SPN AU and Trope Bingo [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Amnesia, Crying, Death from Old Age, M/M, Old Age, Old Married Couple, Post-Canon, Post-Series, SPN AU Bingo, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 10:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13409127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50shadesofsubtext/pseuds/50shadesofsubtext
Summary: When Dean got Alzheimer's he forgot some things and confused others. He even thinks Cas is Death coming to collect him.My fill for my SPN AU and Trope Bingo for the square amnesia!au.





	Knockin' on Heaven's Door

**Author's Note:**

> This is sad. I cried while writing it. Prepare yourself.
> 
> The title is from Guns N’ Roses and/or Bob Dylan’s song of the same name.

Cas looked around the house in a panic, worried Dean had wandered out the front door and gotten lost again. He moved to the kitchen where he’d left his phone, ready to call Ms. Anderson next door and ask if Dean had wandered over there.

Dean was fascinated with the stained glass in her front window; he said it reminded him of his true love. Cas smiled proudly every time Dean said that, knowing that the man had forgotten that the blue of the window was nearly the same color of Cas’ eyes.

He stopped in the doorway to the kitchen when he saw Dean. He stayed silent and watched Dean shuffle to the fridge, open the door, frown, and close it. Dean turned back to the counter and saw that he’d already pulled a plate from the cabinet, so he turned back to the fridge and opened the door again. Cas ran a hand through his hair, wondering how long Dean had been stuck in this loop.

He spoke up, “Dean, would you like something to eat?”

Dean tried to turn on his heel, reaching for a gun that he hadn’t had in years, and he had to grab the counter to keep himself from falling. Cas let him focus on finding his balance for a second before taking a few steps closer, “I do not mind making you a sandwich.”

Dean looked up, finally taking the features of Cas’ face and he sighed, “You come back to collect me? I’m not ready to go yet.”

Cas gave him a patient smile. The years hadn't been kind to his husband. Dean’s hair had turned gray, his car stopped running years ago, and the Alzheimer's made Dean forget and confuse things. A couple of years ago, Dean started thinking Cas was Death coming to collect him. He always played along.

He gave Dean a wink, hoping he could see it, “I guess you got me this time. Would you like a sandwich to pass the time?”

Dean gave a smile back and waved his hand in a way that told Cas it was okay to make the sandwich. Cas hummed to himself as he pulled out the ingredients, an old AC/DC song that Dean taught him years ago. He smiled when he heard Dean hum too.

He led Dean to the kitchen table, supporting his arm so he wouldn’t slip. He pulled a chair out and helped Dean set, then sat in the chair next to him, halfway turned to watch him eat. Dean was a couple of bites in when he looked up at Cas. He sat the sandwich down on the plate and said, “You know, you look like my husband?”

Cas rubbed the ring on his finger and gave Dean a flirtatious grin, “Really?”

The blush crept up Dean’s paper-thin skin, and he looked back down at his food. “I mean when we were young. He was an angel, you know, and he saved me. All the time.”

Cas leaned back in his chair and listened to his husband talk about their lives, their love story. When Dean started to forget what happened next, Castiel took his hand and walked him to the bedroom for a nap. When Dean was tucked in, he cleaned up the kitchen and turned on one of Dean’s old CD’s, a Led Zeppelin one.

His phone buzzed, and he stepped onto the back porch so he wouldn’t wake Dean up. “Hello?”

“Mr. Winchester? It’s Abby from Grace Memorial.” Abby was Cas’ favorite of Sam’s nurses. She took care of Sam while he took care of Dean.

“How is he?”

“Sam was having trouble swallowing this morning, so he is on an IV, and he is having a difficult time remaining conscious for more than an hour or two. Mr. Winchester, I would suggest bringing Dean over today or tomorrow to say his goodbyes, I don’t think Sam has much longer.”

Cas knew this was coming, but he still felt a clinch in his chest. He held his emotions back and said, “Thank you, Abby, I’ll bring him over soon.”

He held the phone to his chest and let out a shaky breath, still frustrated there was nothing he could do for the man he’d grown to love. Sam had been a brother to Cas, the one that pushed him and Dean together so many years ago, the one that pressed them to retire from hunting, the one who helped when Dean’s Alzheimer's set in until his own health problems started.

He wished he could heal the brothers, give them one last hurrah before they slipped into their next life, but he only had enough angelic power left to take away the brothers’ pain. He gave himself a minute to collect himself before he walked to Dean’s bedside to wake him up.

“You come back to collect me? I’m not ready to go yet.”

Cas gave Dean his warmest smile at the well-worn phrase, “I guess I can wait a little while. Would you like to go see Sam while we wait for your time?”

Dean smiled brightly, “You know, I saved that kid. A lot. Carried him out of a burning building.”

“So I’ve heard,” Cas said over his shoulder as he grabbed Dean a pair of pants and a button-down shirt. He helped Dean change, and they walked to the car, Dean holding on to Cas’ elbow.

On the ride, Dean said, “It’s not every day Death drives you around.”

Cas felt a corner of his lips pull into a grin, “Is that so?”

“You’re a decent driver though. You know, I taught my husband how to drive? He was an angel, so he got a pass on not already knowing. You look like him.”

Cas pulled into the hospital parking lot, “Tell me about him, Dean.”

Dean didn’t get far into their story before Cas turned off the car and helped Dean out of the front seat.

Cas felt Sam’s pain when he walked into the room. It called to him, asking him to talk it away like he’d done so many times before. After Cas introduced Dean to his little brother, he took Sam’s hand in his own and made sure Sam didn’t feel any pain when he slipped away.

The funeral was small, just him, Dean, and a few neighbors. All their hunting friends had long since passed on. It was strange to think this man had saved the world so many times.

After the service, Cas brought Dean home and helped him to bed for a nap. This time, he laid beside Dean and gently stroked through the wispy-gray remains of Dean’s hair.

He lost track of time, and before he knew it, Dean turned over and faced Cas. He opened his eyes and met Cas’ gaze. “I’m ready now.”

It was a near whisper, and Cas let out a long breath. He wasn’t surprised that, even in his condition, Dean would do this part of life with Sam too. “Are you sure?”

Dean nodded, and Cas smiled, “Before I take you, can you do something for me?” Dean looked hopeful, and Cas said, “Tell me about Cas.”

Dean’s eyes lit up. “He was an angel, you know. You look like him.” Cas grabbed Dean’s hand while he talked. He’d asked for this story, his favorite story, just to hear it one last time. When Dean’s memory started getting fuzzy, and he couldn’t remember what happened next, Cas filled in the details. He pushed more of his last tinge of grace through their connection, removing all the pain from Dean’s body.

Dean’s eyes closed as Cas told their story. They were long past the parts that Dean could remember. Cas slowed his heartbeat, his brain function as he told Dean about when he got sick, how he was sorry they couldn’t have more time together, how he was sorry he couldn’t save Dean one last time. When Dean took his last breath, Cas leaned over him, kissed him on his forehead, on his lips, and whispered, “I love you” against his skin.

He couldn’t stop the tears as he clung to Dean’s chest. He’d promised Dean, long ago, that he would be the one to do this, and he didn’t regret that for a moment, but it felt so wrong that Dean was gone, like his heart, his soul, his humanity had just been locked away.

He prayed that one day, he would be allowed back in Heaven, that one day, he and Dean would be reunited. Until then, he would serve out his punishment on Earth doing the only thing he could, the thing Dean taught him. He would hunt and wait to see his husband.


End file.
